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| | | | Ananda at the SRF Convocation
News from Asha
Thursday, August 23, 2001 |
Dear Friends:
I don’t think my letter yesterday fully conveyed the magnitude of the experience we had at the “bus stop” in the morning. I don’t think I appreciated it myself when I was writing. Only later, as we had time to reflect, did it begin to sink in.
In many ways, yesterday was like Sri Yukteswar’s birthday, last May 10, at the public hearing in Los Angeles. You may remember, that was where Sean Meshorer and I spoke up against SRF’s expansion project. It was the first time anyone from Ananda had spoken out in such a public forum about what SRF has been doing to us in this lawsuit for the last decade. It was a clashing of worlds and a sense of great change.
Yesterday, in front of the Bonaventure, we had the same feeling. Only this time, there were about 50 of us, not just a handful. And we felt all of Ananda behind us. And astral angels, too.
SRF knew long in advance that we were coming to the convocation. We made no attempt to hide it from them. They decided on a strategy: be nice, respectful, encourage SRF members to be respectful. I’ve explained that in earlier letters.
We cooperated very well with SRF’s plans by being understated about our own position—not in the newspaper, but in our signs. So if people wanted to ignore us, it was very easy for them to do so. I think SRF felt by Wednesday morning that Ananda was “contained” and it would all be okay. Also, we were only reaching a relatively few people—primarily those staying in hotels other than the Bonaventure.
Yesterday it all changed when we got connected to the departure zone for all the busloads of SRFers going on pilgrimage to SRF sites, and arrived there with our new signs. There was so much power in what we were doing. And the scene itself had the vibrational chaos about it that we felt at the public hearing in May, too. A clashing of worlds.
The physical scene added to the sense of intensity: SRF lined up on one side, Ananda lined up on the other. Facing each other directly across a twenty foot driveway. They were many, we were few.
The front entrance of the hotel has a clear glass wall. The escalators from the parking lot come up into the building right at the entrance area. And the time we were standing there is the time a lot of people arrive. So all during the scene outside, we could see them coming up the escalators and looking out the window at us.
There is a wide porch at the entrance where SRF volunteers have a table. There are huge concrete columns that define the loading areas for each of the pilgrimage sites. Buses are lined up all in front of the hotel, and going around the corner, each identified: Hollywood Church, Forest Lawn, Mt. Washington, etc. One after another they pull up, load their passengers, then pull away to be replaced by the next bus in line. Sometimes several buses were loading at the same time.
SRF members all have tickets. Volunteers are all dressed in suits of dark blue or black—the women too. They have the whole thing beautifully arranged. SRF members pour out of the hotel, gather under the sign for their pilgrimage spot, buses pull up and the lines of SRF people are guided to the appropriate one.
Right in front of the porch is the driveway, then there is a narrow sidewalk, which belongs to us, with the street right at the edge. The buses park along the street, right up against the sidewalk. Just inches, sometimes, from where we are standing.
The buses run their engines, there is noise and diesel fumes everywhere.
SRF members are standing looking at the buses. We are lined up right in front of the buses, so they are staring right at us. It reminded us of the movie “Gandhi.”
Yesterday, we kept moving. As new buses pulled up, we would re-position ourselves to be close to the doorway. We had people on both sides of the line of SRF members. We were close to them. We were smiling, happy, singing, and close. After people were on the bus, yesterday they often sat there for a few minutes. We would turn our signs so they could be read by people on the bus. Ananda folk stood near the corner where a red light often stopped the bus for a few more long minutes in which the Ananda signs were right out the window.
What we were doing was not that complicated, or even that aggressive. But there was an energy flowing through us and swirling around us. It was like an explosion—of joy from Ananda, of stunned disbelief from the SRF side.
Something undefinable and profound happened on May 10th. And it happened again yesterday.
By the end of the day yesterday, we were all feeling the power of it, and needed to talk together and think about what to do next. Could we keep up that energy? Was that the right thing to do?
We asked one another “What effect are we having on the SRF members? How do we ourselves feel?” Keeping ever in mind Swami Kriyananda’s concern about creating anger we asked “Do we see any increase in confrontational energy from SRF people or from ourselves?”
The consensus was that from the Ananda side the joy has been so strong, there has been no inclination toward anger.
One tiny moment only, not significant, just fun. An Ananda person was holding a sign that happened to say, “Only love can take my place.” An SRF person walking by made a comment we’ve heard more than once: “The lawsuit can’t really be happening. You must be wrong.” The Ananda person gave a sharp two word retort. Then he caught the eye of another Ananda soul nearby, and in the exchange of vibrations, of course, immediately knew his energy was off. He looked at his sign and said sheepishly, “Only love....”
But that was about it. God’s grace here has been very strong.
There seemed to be an increase yesterday, after the morning event, in our interactions with SRF people. It is still one by one, but there seemed to be more “ones.” So we asked each other if SRF people were being “confrontational or conversational.” The consensus was conversation, not confrontation. Some SRF people ask probing questions. They want the facts. But “truth is not afraid of questions,” so we consider that all to the good. One SRF member told us that because of what he has learned about the lawsuit, he is going to let SRF know that he is changing his will. He has substantial money and doesn’t want SRF to have it if they are going to use it this way.
One of the Sisters—we only know her as a lady in orange—did confront Mary Bicknell to tell her emphatically that Mary has her facts wrong. The nun said SRF tried to settle and Ananda refused. Before Mary could even respond, other of the bramacharinis and sisters hustled the woman onto the renunciate’s bus. Clearly she was acting on her own from her own frustration. We are affecting some people, there is no question about that.
Janakidevi also had an interesting encounter with an older woman. The woman said, “I was with Master. He would not like what you are doing.” Then she switched her energy completely and said, “I knew Kriyananda. Tell him hello from me.” She gave her name and said, “He’ll know me.” Then she flipped back to the “I was with Master and he would not be pleased” statement, then to the “tell him Hi” one. She did it a few times and then went on her way! She didn’t stay around for Janakidevi’s response.
One lady said, “I know about Kriyananda. I have the blue Autobiography.” I thought she was friendly. Then she said, “Kriyananda makes the bangles without the gurus’ blessings.” She said it as if that was the whole reason for the conflict. An eleven-year lawsuit over the bangles. She then added, “The bangles don’t work without Babaji’s blessings.”
The comment about the bangles is merely absurd. Other things we have heard are not at all amusing, but profoundly distressing. One woman told us that Daya Mata said, “When Kriyananda left, I cried all night and begged him to stay.” So many SRF people, when it comes to Ananda and Swamiji and this lawsuit have so much false information you don’t know where to begin. It reminds me of when I was seven years old and, being Jewish, asked my father “Why don’t we believe in Christ?” He hemmed and hawed and tried to say something until it was obvious to me that he didn’t have any idea why we didn’t believe in Christ. I thought it was kinder to just drop the subject.
Anyway, we strategized late into the night and the consensus was to stay strong, stay present, keep up our lawsuit signs, but pull our energy in a little bit. Take up a position at the bus stop and stay in one place. Move back a few feet from the SRF people. And concentrate on singing.
So that is what we did this morning. We went right to the bus stop at 7:30 am and stayed there for a little over an hour, while, again, many SRF people came out of the hotel and got on the buses.
Our more restrained attitude seemed also to be reflected externally. There weren’t as many bus motors running. Other traffic noise—which had been intense yesterday—was also diminished.
In other words, our music could really be heard. And we gave the best concert we have given so far!
For a long time we sang Sri Gurudeva AUM. It was so beautiful. SRF members waiting for their buses just stood on the porch across the driveway and stared at us. We sang Oratorio songs, we sang Cloisters. We sang Dare to Be Different, Dare to be Free. We sang Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy. We sang the harmony and, to my ears at least, sounded like angels. We sang that chant for a long time. It was so blissful. SRF people were still and attentive listening to us sing. They looked at our faces, they looked at our signs. You could feel the heart connection with between many of them and us. Some SRF people couldn’t help but sing along.
Of course it would be foolish to say everyone was pleased. Those who were not happy about our being there maintained a kind of inner distance . Only a few scowled or shook their heads as they went by. Everyone read our signs.
Finally we ended by singing Many Hands Make a Miracle, quite a few times through. Then it was done.
We added one more sign today. “SRF Leaders—Let’s Talk. Let’s Have a Public Debate on the Issues.—see page 9 of the newspaper.” On that page the whole “Challenge to Debate” is written out.
Occasionally we hear reports of what is going on “inside.” Two SRF members told us that Vishwananda, an SRF Board member said on the first or second day something like, “not all of SRF’s decisions about Ananda have been right.” That seems like a big admission. We’ll see whether it has any real force behind it. We also heard a rumor that he told people about the relics in our room at the Biltmore and even encouraged them to come and see them.
An SRF member spoke to one of us about his friendship with some of the renunciates who, the member said, are also displeased with SRF’s treatment of Ananda. Certainly there are many devotees who know what is happening is not right.
At the same time, I have to say, there is an enormous, in fact, I believe, an unbridgeable, gap between the SRF point of view and the Ananda point of view in many fundamental areas.
One SRF member described herself as “a child who lets her parents solve the issue. We trust that they are doing the right thing.” This attitude she presented to me as if it was self-evidently the right attitude to have. She then described certain things about the copyright dispute between SRF and Ananda—all of which were wrong. When I offered to tell her the facts she said she wasn’t interested. She said again, it just didn’t have anything to do with her. I said, “I am a disciple and I feel personally responsible for Master’s mission. Our training at Ananda is different.” There was really nothing more to say.
Many of us have had similar encounters with SRF people who feel there is no reason for them to become informed because it is just not their responsibility. They are very content to let “other people handle it.”
SRF has also worked very hard and very successfully to create in the minds of their members a sense of absolute identity between Master and “the organization he founded.” One man objected to me that Ananda uses “Self-realization” when that term belongs to SRF. I responded by saying that term belongs to Master, not SRF. We are Master’s disciples, we have to teach what he taught. Just because SRF disciples are teaching Master’s teachings does that mean that we have to teach something else? He saw my point, but dimly.
In their rebuttal to our 1995 pamphlet, “Has SRF Lost Its Way?”, SRF included a beautiful quote describing how gracious and inspiring and loving Master was. The way it was done it was obviously meant to leave the impression that the words, having been said about Master, also applied to SRF. And I am sure most SRF members just assumed they did apply.
This is a very difficult bias to overcome. Many people will die believing that Ananda is wrong. And there is nothing we can do about it. We have to remember, it is not necessarily the people right of front of us we are trying to reach. We are here to witness for what is true and to create a wave of energy that, in time, will set a course for the future. It is a very joyous project.
In Master’s love,
Asha for Ananda-at-the-Convocation
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